No appliance November

November always makes me nervous. VERY nervous. Weird things happen in our house within days and/or weeks after  Halloween when initially my anxiety begins to set in.

We’ve had sewage come up through our guest shower, lost a sump pump, air conditioner, vaccuum, dishwasher, clothes dryer, garage door, stove; our furnace in 2012, while my floridian parents were here after super storm Sandy, and, just last year, our refrigerator,  after I had just finished stocking it for thanksgiving, but only a week before the pipe under the kitchen sink burst, leaked through the first floor and flooded the basement, all while taking out a printer along the way, causing ink to splatter the walls and carpet, and destroying the insulation in its path. Oh, did I say we had a houseful of people still staying here enjoying the holiday weekend?

I begin looking at our appliances in a distrusting way as soon as the leaves begin changing color. November first comes and my faith in prayer is restored with great importance. We set the clocks back, and I take a deep breath. I begin organizing and shopping for Thanksgiving, and begin whispering to and petting our appliances, willing them to be gentle with me.

In our state, teachers convention/college visitation weekend arrives, and I begin to get the shakes. I walk around, greeting each appliance, and tell them what a great job they’re doing and how great it is to have them with us. I tally which of them has been around the longest, and which might decide to bite the bullet.

The phone calls go back and forth between me and my parents, confirming holiday plans, flights, and transportation, and then, it happens….my parents arrive from Florida, the temperature drops dramatically, and the snow begins to fall. In all fairness, the snow has fallen on October 13th, during my nephew’s bar-mitzvah,  but yes, my parents were here.

Now, they swear that they are not a part of the equation , but it IS pretty suspicious, AND even my Facebook friends have noticed a trend.

We already need to replace our sliding door that self-imploded in August while I was away, and I’m concerned for our washer, dryer, dishwasher, and, especially, our hot water heater. I lack trust, like a girl who has been cheated on before, and I have to admit that I am secretly thrilled my parents are skipping the turkey this year and flying in for a family affair in December. …Maybe it will buy us time? Maybe it is them? Or maybe my appliances suffer from seasonal depression.

All I know is that in the last few days, 3 different light bulbs blew out within hours of each other, and just an hour ago, I flipped on the light switch in our master bathroom, and three bulbs simultaneously  exploded, and I was left dumbfounded….cue the twilight zone music…I have glass to clean up.